Thursday, December 22, 2005

a moment of silence, please

"Crystal Hot Sauce Maker To Leave New Orleans

The famous Baumer's food sign and plant that is visible from the Pontchartrain Expressway may not be there much longer.

Baumer, which bottles Crystal Hot Sauce and other famous condiments, announced that it?s leaving New Orleans after more than 60 years.

Alvin Baumer Jr., the owner and plant president, said he's moving out of Orleans Parish after 5 feet of water inundated the Mid-City plant.

Baumer won't say where the new plant will be located, only that he's been looking for a new location for the past year."

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

phrases, etc.

Phrases to go with my new "gesture":

Hey, what's that?
Look up!
[nothing, just looking beatific]
...and another thing...
I have an idea.
J'accuse! (my personal favorite)
Stick 'em up!

Excuses for that "gesture":

I just got initiated into the Yakuza.
I am not a good chainsaw operator.
Hatchets should not be juggled.
I made a small sacrifice to the football gods (which was, apparently, ignored).

[i'll add more as they come to me]

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

bakersfield maltese?

ok, i can't figure out how to get the video to play direct on the blog, but you have to check this link out:


Tuesday, November 22, 2005

hold 'em to it

so, i think i've found a new policy that we should use to counter the creationists, it's called "hold 'em to it," and we should make them be logically consistent with their beliefs.

this letter to the editor published in the san luis obispo tribune on 11/6/05 describes one application of theory quite eloquently:

"Some don't need vaccine

Recent news about the avian flu virus has raised concerns from main street to the White House. There is the possibility, even likelihood, that the virus will mutate into a form that can more easily infect humans.

As the president pointed out, a vaccine cannot be made until this evolution occurs. This raises the concern that it may be impossible to create enough vaccine fast enough to protect all our citizens. But there is hope.

Gallup polls tell us that up to 45 percent of Americans don't believe in evolution. Since random mutation is the engine of evolution, these same people must believe that the virus cannot mutate.

Therefore, there is no need to waste vaccine on folks who believe there is no possible threat to themselves -- thus leaving a sufficient supply for the rest of us. Perhaps the president, given his doubts about evolution, may wish to demonstrate his leadership by foregoing vaccination.

This approach has added benefits. Polls also tell us that disbelief in evolution is more pronounced among the less educated, the poor and conservatives. If the anti-evolutionists among these groups were to opt out of vaccination then, through immediate deaths and natural selection, we would reduce poverty, raise educational attainment and become a more progressive society.

Steve Anderson
Arroyo Grande"

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

what time is it?

i'm a geek, but i absolutely love the "world time server" site:

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

i'm famous

well, not exactly, but adam curry did read my email to him on daily source code 270 (10/31/05). you can hear it here:

(it's at about the 20 minute mark if you don't want to listen to the whole thing.)

and yes, contrary to my prediction on 3/26/05, i am still listening to podcasts (and, somewhat remarkably, still blogging)! the addition of a combined aggregator and podcast directory in itunes 4.7 really helped. i barely listen to "commercial radio" anymore. i spend a few minutes in the morning listening to kevin & bean out of loyalty and that's about it. this podcast thing is entertainment on demand, like tivo for your radio, but with better content. my only problem is finding enough time to listen to all the stuff that i subscribe to. if you are not subscribing to podcasts yet, what are you waiting for?

in case you care, here's a list of podcasts i subscribe to. they are definitely worth checking out and you can find them all on itunes:

daily source code (obviously)
the word nerds
5 minutes with wichita
the weekly presidential radio address [parody]
grape radio
good food
le show
immigration fridays
the roadhouse podcast
digital flotsam
colonial williamsburg podcast

Thursday, November 03, 2005


Too many god damn people in so cal , specifically on the 10 and 60 freeways.

Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.

Monday, October 24, 2005

the devil's left nut

man, how i'd love to smack the smirk right off of tommy boy's face...

oh, and one of my favorite websites (awful plastic thinks tommy's uneven nostrils are the results of a botched nose job...

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Photographic evidence

Ain't it sweet?

It's a great day to be a bruin!

Cal 40

Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


ok, she's had her blog for like 5 minutes, and already she's changed it. here's the new link...

Tuesday, October 04, 2005


welcoming my mother (yes, my mother) to the world of blogging. now i don't have to call her to find out what's going on!

(this will stay up on the sidebar)

Monday, October 03, 2005


tom de lay indicted again. it couldn't happen to a nicer guy...


obey the maltese! we all know dogs are really in charge. here's a great website that let's you buy a t-shirt to prove it...

Friday, September 30, 2005

Things I hate...

I hate it when you are standing at a light waiting to cross the street and you have already pushed the button for the "walk" signal and then someone comes up and then presses the button. Why? Do they assume you are stupid and did not press the button?

I REALLY hate it when someone SEES you press the button and then goes and presses it AGAIN right after you. Why???? If smacking a person in the head when they do that is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

is that the sound of chickens coming home?

Oh, happy day! Tom DeLay has been indicted. In case you are wondering why you really need to hate Tom DeLay (aka The Devil's Left Nut), consider this quote from the above-linked MSNBC article:

"TRMPAC’s money and expertise helped Republicans win control of the Texas legislature for the first time since the post-Civil War Reconstruction era.

At DeLay’s urging, the legislature then conducted a controversial remapping of congressional districts that resulted in more Republicans from Texas being elected to the U.S. House of Representatives."

Can you imagine DeLay on the witness stand: "Illegally funneling political contributions to solidify a Republican majority in Congress? Was that wrong?"

i can't believe it's not jesus

oh for fuck's sake. pat robertson has a diet shake. wtf? wtff?

and here's the buried lead, more than halfway through the article:

"In large type on the front of the can, the product is labeled 'Pat’s Diet Shake.' In smaller type on the back, it is identified as 'Dr. Pat Robertson’s Diet Shake.'

Robertson is not a medical doctor, but he does have a law degree , known formally as a juris doctor, from Yale Law School."

i guess its not misrepresentation if you're doing it for jesus.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

memo intended for turdblossom

an article posted at shows a copy of a memo allegedly accidentally faxed from congressperson lamar smith's office to a democratic congressperson's office, originally intended for karl rove. i am not sure this is authentic. the site says it is. do people really send faxes anymore? does karl rove run the entire presidency now?

one of mr. smith's more interesting statements from the memo:

"Enforcement of immigration laws, current and new, should come first to satisfy the increasing public demand for border security. It will not be enough to pass enforcement bills this fall that will take a year or two to produce results. Current laws need to be better enforced so the American people see results immediately. (Liberals can easily and accurately be painted as opposing enforcement). Only then as enforcement begins to gain traction, should the twin subjects of guestworkers and long-time illegal residents be addressed." [Emphasis added.]

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Axis of evil

Just saw a T-shirt that represents everything that I hate in this world.

It said:

Bush - Leinart '04

fuck that

Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Victory is ours!

Oklahoma 24

Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.

Friday, September 16, 2005

People 'dat ain't from 'dere just don't understand!

You might be from New Orleans if...
You're out of town and you stop and ask someone where there's a drive-thru daiquiri place, and they look at you like you have three heads. You drive your car up onto the neutral ground if it rains steadily and heavily for more than two hours. You call the 'Median' the 'Neutral Ground.' You have flood insurance. The four seasons of your year - crawfish, shrimp, crab and oyster. You greet people with , "Howzhyamomma'an'em?" and hear back, "Deyfine, darlin!" Someone asks for an address by compass directions and you say it's Uptown, downtown, backatown, riverside or lakeside. Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under. You know the Irish Channel is not Gaelic-language programming on cable. You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it. You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than your house. You have no idea what a turn signal is or how to properly use it. You can cross two lanes of heavy traffic and U-turn though a neutral ground while avoiding two joggers and a streetcar, then fit into the oncoming traffic flow while never touching the brake. You can consistently be the second or third person to run a red stop light. You've been rear-ended 10 times by people with no insurance. You get off the stoop, walk down the banquette and cross the neutral ground to go get a sno-ball. You know better than to drink hurricanes or eat Lucky Dogs. You consider a Bloody Mary a light breakfast. The major topics of conversation when you go out to eat are restaurant meals that you have had in the past and restaurant meals that you plan to have in the future. You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used. The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy dressed is healthier than a Caesar salad. You know the definition of "dressed." You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with a Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop. You have gained 10 or 15 pounds permanently, but you don't care anymore. You think "drinking water" when you look at the Mississippi River. The smell of a crawfish boil turns you on more than Chanel #5. You enjoy sucking heads more than sucking face. You burl crawfish or fry them in erl, and pack the uneaten tails in furl. Then you wrench your hands in the zinc with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off 'em. There is a St. Joseph lucky bean in you mama's coin purse. When you speak with a tourist, he asks, "Are you from Brooklyn?" You're not afraid when someone wants to "ax" you. You were born at Baptist, raised in Metry and hang with Vic and Nat'ly. You go by ya mom-ne-ems on Good Friday for family supper. You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday. You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws. You leave a parade with footprints on your hands. You believe that purple, green and gold look good together-you will even eat things those colors. Every time you hear sirens you think it's a Mardi Gras parade. You go buy a new winter coat and throw your arms up in the air to make sure it allows enough room to catch Mardi Gras beads. You have a parade ladder in your shed. Your finest china has Endymion written on it. Your first sentence was, "Throw me something mistah," and your first drink was from a go-cup. You wonder what Anne Rice has against a building that looks like a Mardi Gras float. You have a special set of grungy, well-broken-in shoes you refer to as your "French Quarter" shoes. Every so often, you have waterfront property. Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled. You believe Al and Anne are the Uptown version of Vic and Nat'ly. You know what a nutria is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team. You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs. You watch a movie filmed in New Orleans and say things like, "Dere ain't no way they can run out of a cemetery right on to Bourbon Street." Speaking of which, you haven't been to Bourbon Street in years. You have to buy a new house because you ran out of wall space for Jazz Fest posters. You drink Dixie, whistle Dixie and name your dog Dixie. You describe a color as K&B purple. You like your rice and politics dirty. You worry about deceased family members returning in spring floods. You reply to anything and everything about life here with, "Only in New Orleans." You have a monogrammed go-cup. A friend gets in trouble for roaches in his car and you wonder if it was palmettos or those little ones that go after the French fries that fell under the seat. You move somewhere else - and you feel like you are FROM Oz and you moved to Kansas.

[alas, i cannot take credit for this lovely work, it was forwarded to me about a zillion years ago.]

Friday, September 09, 2005

habeas what?

i wear black today in honor of the death of habeus corpus. apparently the "great writ" is now the "not-so-great writ."

Sunday, September 04, 2005

a good read

the blogosphere has indeed produced voluminous amounts of rambling shite (e.g., this blog), but there are some truly talented folks out there (e.g., matthew frederick davis hemming, aka cheeseburger brown). mfdh ( first caught my attention with "the darth side: memoirs of a monster," ( a fictionalized, serialized first person account of darth vader's most personal thoughts and feelings. not a big devotee of fan fiction, i found "darth side" to be hilarious, insightful and downright cheeky. i was sad to see it end. imagine my surprise, however, when i went to the site to re-read some old passages (sick in bed, bored) and found that mfdh has a new project: simon of space (, a serialized sci-fi novel "detailing the adventures of hyperspatial-amnesiac and gentleman-about-the-galaxy N. Simonithrat Fell." i am finding it addictive, as i am sure you will, too. an interesting facet is the comments section, where people are posting editing type comments, which, i feel, really rounds out the "online publishing" metaphor. also, people ask (generally) intelligent questions about the process of writing, etc., which mfdh responds to, making the story that much more interesting.

Friday, September 02, 2005

do you know what it means to miss new orleans

tipitina’s - café du monde - beignets & café au lait - f&m patio bar - lafitte’s blacksmith shop - abita beer - crystal hot sauce -mardi gras - dr. john - warehouse district - george porter, jr. - the radiators - kermit ruffins & bbq swingers - voodoo - rebirth brass band - the mardi gras indians - marcia ball - magazine street - semolina's - drive-thru daiquiris - michalopolous - commander’s palace - emeril’s - french quarter - french market - crawfish etouffe - red beans & rice - pat o'brien's hurricanes - po-boys - uptown - tulane - city park - audubon park - jazzfest - the howlin’ wolf - blue dog - the maple leaf - crawfish boils - harry connick, jr - garden district - tchoupitoulas - wedding cake house - muffuletta - central grocery - pralines - plum street snowballs -

add the things you miss about new orleans to the comments.

give a little to help rebuild the crescent city at

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Patti Labelle

Sitting next to Patti Labelle at gyu kaku restaurant in westwood. Oh, and John, too!
Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.

the way it is

i am livid knowing that congress can't be bothered to come back from vacation until later this week to vote on measures to help the victims of hurricane katrina when they sure enough all got back fast enough to vote on a measure to keep terry schiavo in misery. they will move heaven and earth to help one vegetable white woman in florida, but obviously don't give a shit about thousands of poor african-americans left behind by society and struggling for their lives in new orleans. for shame, congress. for shame.

if the federal government won't help new orleans, please let's help them ourselves. please give what you can to private relieve agencies helping out in the area. a good site to research all the different organizations and donate is the network for common good.

Friday, August 26, 2005


A test of the mobile blogger functionality.

i'm going to change the name of this blog... "how dumb is our immigration system?"

here's a new one fresh off the wires from the aila liaison's service center operations liaison update (AILA InfoNet Doc. No. 05082660 (posted Aug. 26, 2005)):

"1. Schedule A Memo. There appears to be an error in the new Schedule A memo. At the end of page 6, the memo instructs that documentary evidence bearing on the application should be provided to the "appropriate USCIS office, i.e. the office where the Form I-140 petition has been filed." The Schedule A memo also instructs adjudicators to outright deny any petition where the notice was not posted within the 30/180 day time window. Assuming someone does not properly comply with the actual (versus misleading under the new schedule A memo) requirements regarding the content of the posting, such action cannot be "cured" because it will be outside the time window.

This instruction, however, is erroneous because the DOL regulations at 656.15(b)(2) state that Schedule A applications should comply with the posting requirements at 656.10(d). Section 656.10(d), in turn, states [at subparagraph (3)] that the notice should instruct that documentary evidence can be provided to "the Certifying Officer of the Department of Labor". The Schedule A memo is therefore wrong. The postings should reference DOL, not USCIS.
We understand that a corrected memo is being worked on. In the meantime, however, we are starting to see denials on this basis, in contradiction to the regulations. Can the Service Centers agree to follow the regulations, rather than the memo, on this point?"

i cannot reiterate enough how much i f'ing love my job!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

petitioner or hostage

from an email from a colleague...

"The US Consulate in Guangzhou has requested the following: (1) have the USC Petitioner take a photograph holding a newspaper which clearly shows the date of the newspaper, (2) "notarize the photograph" (as translated from Chinese, I assume the Consulate means have the Petitioner make a written statement regarding the authenticity of the photograph and notarize the Petitioner's signature), and (3) send the "notarized photograph" and the original newspaper to the Consulate."

seriously, it's like a hostage photograph. this is ridiculous! in 2005 shouldn't there be a better way of doing this?

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Saturday, July 09, 2005

this is why i hate my job

so, i'm at an adjustment of status interview with a client at the immigration service on thursday, july 7, 2005, and something happened that is just so unbelievable that i had to write it down. during the interview, the officer had the radio on in his office...that was tuned to the rush limbaugh show! i am not kidding. and, during the course of the interview, rush and callers were espousing anti-immigration views. seriously, i am not kidding. i couldn't make this stuff up.

Thursday, July 07, 2005


come on, now, people. stop it. just stop it. right now.

Friday, May 27, 2005

dinner with james bond

so we had dinner with james bond last night. ok, well not exactly, but we were out to dinner at matteo's on westwood blvd. and timothy dalton was at the table next to us. he did have a very bond-like martini, but i wasn't able to hear if he said "shaken, not stirred" when ordering.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

true dat

"The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment."

--Dave Barry

as someone whose entire professional career is dedicated to wrangling with the federal government, this incredibly apt observation brought a smile to my lips.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


saw erasure at the avalon on sunday night. 15 years ago, i was using the assistance of a sherpa to hike up to my seats at the very highest point of the forum so that i could stare down at two dots on the stage that, i was assured, were supposed to be vince & andy. on sunday, i got to stand about 10 feet away from the stage. this is a new theory that we're trying out. if you just stay interested in a band long enough, they will eventually become less popular and you can see them in a small club.

erasure were fabulous. vince looks exactly the same and continues to act rather put upon throughout the show for having to wear all the costumes. he did appear to be dressed as a nazi for part of the show, what was up with that? andy was, as ever, flamboyant. he looks absolutely great and has not lost any of the energy. hiv and two replacement hips have not slowed him down. he sounded fabulous as well. he seemed to be having trouble with some of the high notes, but the rest of the vocals were album quality. he came out and sang a version of "ave maria" that would have made the pope cry, if he weren't already crying from the fact that andy was wearing a black sequined elvis jumpsuit with no shirt and body glitter. it was fabulous! they do a great mix of songs, having recognized that no one wants to hear anything from the unbearably depressing "erasure" or disappointing "love boat" albums, they stuck to the hits and the good songs from the new album. "Stop," "O L'amour" and "Sometimes" were outstanding and had the crowd jumping. The crowd was really into it all night and most of them were really cool.

however, some were complete morons and i have a few comments: first, don't act out the songs. do you realize how fucking stupid you look when you put your hand in the air and do the numbers for the "one and one was two, two and two were four" line in "ship of fools"? pretty fucking stupid is exactly how you look. just stop it. and to the pushy trannies who decided that they absolutely had to be in front of us for the encore, all of your tranny coolness points went right out the window when you acted out "i bet your mad at me, i see your eyes so blue" by pointing at your tranfriend and then at your eyes when mouthing the words. you look like an awful karaoke parody. who are you, anthony fucking federov without the trach scar? as dennis miller said (once, when he was still funny), "ain't no dance floor wide enough." which brings me to another point about pushy people. this one goes to the two midget bitches who thought that it was appropriate to push up and squeeze in the space front of us right before the band came on. first, there wasn't enough space for any people in that spot let alone you and your fat asses. that area was something called "personal space" which means, i am standing more than 4 inches behind the person in front of me so that i don't have to be smashed up against them for the length of the concert. i did not stand there for the better part of two hours, suffering through the shit opening band with a 19 year old singer channeling marc almond like no one in the crowd has ever heard a soft cell album fighting to leave a hairsbreadth of space between me and the person in front of me so that you two over-the-hill wannabe skanks could barge right up at the last minute and stand so close that i have to hold my breath so as not to be spooning you. and here's a fashion tip, just throw that tube top out, honey, because its too small and it mashes your saggy tits into a completely unflattering shape that the rest of us will have trouble getting out of our minds for a long time to come.

Friday, May 13, 2005

for the pimp who has everything...

forget gold teeth caps. forget spinning rims for your ride. you need gold teeth caps with spinning diamond wheels, playa.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Tuesday, May 03, 2005


this may be an understatement, i have recently felt very upset by the christian fundamentalist kick that this country is on. i am very offended by the religious right's attitude that i am not a worthy human being because i am not a christian. to be honest, i am not any religion. my family is catholic, but i had issues with that at about age 7 and they graciously let me abstain from further catholic activities. but that does not mean i am not a moral person. i feel that i can be a good, productive member of society and make the world a better place, even if i don't believe in god. i try to do right by the world, based on a foundation of respect for others. i support charities. i lend my services to pro bono causes. but i feel the religious right is winning the war of semantics by defining people like me as somehow wrong because we do not subscribe to their particular religious views. i stumbled across something online that may be the solution: humanism. i am not ashamed to admit that i have never heard of this before. it bears much more investigation.

Friday, April 29, 2005

the uscis is so stupid...

how stupid are they? let's take a survey over the past two days:

proposed new o/p visa regulations that state in the preamble that you can file an o/p visa petition up to 12 months in advance, but not earlier than 6 months. this is utter stupidity. to add to the utter stupidity, the actual text of the reg, published in the federal register at 70 fed. reg. 21983 (4/28/05), does not match what the preamble says. the actual proposed text of the reg states: "The petition may be filed up to one year, but not earlier than 6 months, before the actual need for the alien's services." they take months (if not years) revising these regs before they are published, you think someone, anyone, would have read that sentence and have said, "this doesn't make any f*!%ing sense!"

in a request for evidence, the ever intelligent adjudications staff at the csc tell me that someone is subject to special registration per 67 fed. reg. 70526, which states that citizens of certain countries who were in the U.S. on december 2, 2002, are subject to special call-in registration. the crack uscis adjudicator says the fr notice requires individuals who were here at that time had to registerd by a certain date or "at time of entry thereafter." they are wrong on two counts. first, port-of-entry registration is only for citizens of iran, iraq, libya & sudan (see 67 fed. reg. 57032). (needless to say, the individual is not a citizen of one of those ocuntries.) no other countries have been designated. second, the fr notice for call-in registration is only for call-in registration, not port-of-entry registration. they are two completely different concepts. the call-in registration, described in the fr notice they simply required you to present yourself by a certain date, notify immigration of any address changes and report when you departed. there is not one mention in that rule about registering upon subsequent entries nor is there any rule about subjecting individuals to port-of-entry registration. they are too stupid to be able to read and understand their own regulations.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

darth vader's blog

ever wonder what darth vader would write in his diary? check out . read it soon because george lucas' lawyers will probably have this shut down by the end of the week.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

how rich are you?

find out at: there's also a link on the sidebar.* this is a really innovative idea to drum up donations for a charity. if anything, it really made me stop and think about how fortunate i have been in my life.

* disclaimer (i am a lawyer, after all): i do not know anything about this organization, so if you feel the need to give, then i suggest you do the appropriate research first or simply give to a charity that you know is bona fide.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

f'ed up lawyer

a blog i've been reading a lot recently...

it speaks to me as one of those disillusioned with their choice of profession.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005


the new dmb album, stand up, comes out on may 10. no, i am not counting the days. ok, i lied. you know i am. check out some in studio interviews about the making of the album at they look and sound great, so i am expecting great things from this album. another before these crowded streets maybe? we heard some great new songs during the summer 2004 tour (sugar will, joy ride hello again). here's hoping they make it to the album (remember the everyday debacle) and that the rest of the songs are of the same quality. 26 days!

Thursday, April 07, 2005

it's transubstantialicious, baby!

the college of cardinals has set the date for the conclave to select the new pope. have you filled out your brackets?

Tuesday, April 05, 2005


ok, by posting that last post, i seem to have re-activated something and resurrected the heretofore missing blog. the blog has arisen. all praise to the mighty blog!

ah suck

so due to some technical difficulties, i accidentally deleted my blog. for some reasons, i had two listings for maltese parakeet. one had postings, one did not. why two listings for the same blog? i thought. why don't i just delete the one with no postings? i thought. click. delete. blog with all the postings ... gone. as my old friend at the dorms, terry l. would say, ah suck.

Saturday, April 02, 2005


"I bought a donut, and the guy gave me a receipt for the donut. I don't need a receipt for a donut. I give you the money, you give me the donut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into it. I just cannot imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a donut. Some skeptical friend. 'Hey man, don't even act like I didn't get that donut. I got the documentation right here... Oh wait it's at home in the file. Under D.' "

r.i.p. mitch hedberg. you will be missed.

Friday, April 01, 2005

buchy gets his salad tossed

well not really. but i bet that got your attention.

select the link for "pat buchanan doused with salad dressing"

don't know how long it will be up at that site, but its worth your time to go look for it.

this f'ing made my day.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

hypocrisy in the white house

the president's statement about terri schiavo:

"I urge all those who honor Terri Schiavo to continue to work to build a culture of life, where all Americans are welcomed and valued and protected, especially those who live at the mercy of others," he said.

"The essence of civilization is that the strong have a duty to protect the weak. In cases where there are serious doubts and questions the presumption should be in the favor of life." *

* Offer not valid in all 50 states. Offer does not apply to Iraqis, death row prisoners in Texas, blacks, hispanics, gays, lesbians, democrats or anyone living in a blue state or a state where my brother is not governor.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

free dogs

it really should be flattering. they bark and bark and bark at every little noise when one of us is not home. they know the pack is incomplete and are so excited that the missing one may come back. but it drives me frickin' nuts. anyone want two free dogs?

Monday, March 28, 2005

uscis at it again

posted this morning on the american immigration lawyers association (aila) website:

Still no word on when USCIS will start accepting petitions for the 20,000 H-1Bs. In the meantime, government sources confirm that the USCIS miscounted fy2005 H-1B allocations, such that at least 10,000 more than the 65,000 quota were allocated. Posted on AILA InfoNet at Doc. No. 05032860 (Mar. 28, 2005) .

wtf?! wtff!?! this agency is so beyond f'ed up. every day its something like this. are they going to take visas away now? am i going to get calls to turn my clients in because uscis gave them a visa they weren't supposed to get?

Saturday, March 26, 2005


so, what is this podcasting thing? as we established in my first post, i am coming rather late to blogging, so i figure i am behind the curve on podcasting, as well. not as behind, though. so anyway, i'm reading one of my favorite blogs ( a few months ago and i see this word podcast. don't know what that is, don't bother to look it up (yes, i am lazy). then, randomly, the next day, i read some other reference to podcasting. ok, this is something i need to know about, i think, as i google the term. i find ipodder ( and am instantly hooked. so, what is it? basically, podcasts are radio shows that are produced by all manner of random individuals and posted on the internet so that you can download them and listen to them on your ipod. ipodder is an aggregator for podcasts, like all the content aggregators for blogs, news sites, etc., that will automatically check the sites you indicate for new podcasts and download them into your itunes for synching to your ipod.

so what do you listen to on podcasts? anything. literally anything. the content is so specific. they are radio shows that you would never hear on the radio because they are so not commercial. there are talk shows, music shows, comedy bits, food shows, sports talk shows, everything. there is so much content out there and some of it is crap, but some of it is great. i was having a hard time knowing where to start, but, lucky for me, literally minutes after i learn about podcasting, i read my wired magazine (yes, i get the old school paper version) and see this article (,1282,66133,00.html) about adam curry (yes, the former mtv veejay), who is apparently the granddaddy of podcasting. he's involved with ipodder and has got a great podcast called daily source code, which you can get at there's almost always a fun mash-up to hear, a funny name-that-tune game called jan polet's hit test ( and he runs promos for podcasts so you can find good content to add to your ipodder. like the roadhouse blues podcast, which i am jamming to right now. it's the best blues you've never heard. hit it up at . other than adam, there are some other great sources for finding good podcasting content, including websites like podcast alley (, podcasting news (, and podcast bunker (

so, there you have it. there are so many issues to talk about, like legal and copyright issues about content, the future of podcasting, how it could be made to be profitable and about a million others. this is my new favorite thing right now (which will probably fall by the wayside in a few days, we all know that i have the attention span of a gnat on meth). but, for now, i think its cool, so check out this podcasting thing...


spyware has got to be the most evil thing ever invented by mankind. seriously, people, i do not want to play blackjack at an illegal offshore casino, refinance my home or learn about unbelievable travel deals. i think the thing that tipped me off that i had spyware issues was the 8,000 pop ups for spyware detecting software. can they be that stupid to advertise something that blocks their advertising? probably not. so, figuring that the spyware software they were advertising was just another way to install spyware onto my computer, i closed the 17 popup windows that had just opened on my screen and went straight to the microsoft site and dowloaded the free anti-spyware beta. 15 minutes later, i am spyware free and surfing the web, gloriously pop-up free. thank you microsoft. pick it up at i highly recommend it.

Friday, March 25, 2005

e-bay as art

go to ebay and search for item 5566217149. can't get the link to work here. did ebay know what they were getting themselves into? did they know that their site was going to be used for entertainment as well as e-commerce purposes? who was the first persion that thought they would use ebay as a platform to distribute their writing? this is a great hoax. very well done, well planned.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

pat o

one of the funnier things i've read in a while...


i will be the first to admit that i am a dedicated kevin & bean fan. i have listened to them, basically, since they went on the air on kroq in 1990 and they often have me laughing out loud. but i had no idea that people are so fanatic as to have blogs dedicated to the kevin & bean show. for your surfing pleasure:

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

so here we are

ok, we're going to try this again. i feel the need to have an online record of stuff. what i think is funny. what i think is annoying. annoying but funny. funny but annoying. plus everyone in l.a. has a blog or a script and i don't have a script, so this is the only thing left. funny, i am being brutalized by my 5 pound dog. max chews his nails to sharpen them during the day while i am at work. when i come home, he paws and swats at me. it's like a million paper cuts. he just got my nose because i wasn't paying enough attention to him while i am typing this. i look like i have been attacked by a gang of rabid cats. annoying, the u.s. citizenship & immigration services released another version of the i-129 from again, just 6 days after they sprung the last one on us (on a friday night). yay, we thought. i bet they fixed the mistakes (the duplicative questions; the place where they ask the province and country of birth, but not the city; the quaint olde english spelling of "previouse"). no, no changes that we can see. wtf? this is your government, folks.