i am a fine white woman

so, i've been trying to take the bus to work once a week. there's a lot of positives to this. i'm reduing my gas consumption by about 20% and therefore can feel about 20% less responsible for the dead u.s. soldiers and iraqis. i'm contributing less to the global warming problem. i'm getting more exercise. i'm catching up on my podcasts. i'm getting out in my community more. and, this is the best one, i'm getting the chance to talk to crazy people!

so, i'm waiting for my bus yesterday after work and this lovely drunk gentleman called tony came up to me to chat. i thought i was about to get hit up for some cash or maybe get to talked to about jesus, but he wanted to tell me how beautiful i was and how i was "his type" of woman. i politely thanked him for his compliment, i mean, why be rude, and was rewarded with about 10 minutes of what tony thought was a quite witty chatting up. boy was he drunk. he could stand up pretty straight, but the verbal faculties were quite impaired! so, apparently, i am a fine white woman. no, it's true! tony was (and probably still is) black, so he felt that he needed to lean in to reveal the secret that i was white when he told me that, thus giving me the full benefit of the alcohol fumes coming off him. i'm surprised i wasn't drunk after the end of the conversation. so the conversation carried on in that vein for a while, with him telling me how he was just drawn to me and that i was totally his type of woman. when i told him that i was my husband's type of woman, too, he went off on that for a while. my husband is apparently blessed, and i heartily agreed to that! tony invited me to dinner. he would love to take me out to italian food and let me do the ordering...he would buy me "spaghetti, fettucine, fetaroni, everything!" he then told me that he was a burnt out pimp and i was, like, so waiting for him to try to turn me out, but, alas, tony was a bit of a joker, and recanted on the pimp story pretty quickly. i was very disappointed and tony really blew it, because i would have actually taken him out for a fetaroni dinner if i could have talked to a burnt out pimp! anyway, after a few more minutes on the subject of how nicely i was built (i am apparently solid) and some attempts to give me his phone number, tony announced that he had to leave. "i've been drinking some beers," he explained. "really?" i replied, the irony being a tad lost on him. "yeah, i have to pee." and then he walked off. i love the bus!