Monday, April 07, 2008

loldog

before there was the joy that is multy and the unbearable cuteness that is max, there was buddy, the original loldog...

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

you can vote for his funny little mug over on i can has cheezburger by clicking on his picture and then rating how many cheezburgers worth of funny you think his picture is.

as a bonus lol, i'll tell you a little story about buddy. when we first got him, i was living at home (it was during my first year of law school and i was b-r-o-k-e - little did i know three years later how b-r-o-k-e i could get). anyway, we'd only had buddy a few weeks and he was still a wild young dog. first, the scene. we have this room in our house that used to be called the den but is now my mom's office and the scene of her recent "watch this" debacle. the den used to have this wide double door sized area that opened onto the living room but was blocked off with a bar (and there used to be those funky glazed mirror squares on one of the walls - the house was built in the 70s, you know). i had my couch from my old apartment in the den perpendicular to the bar. so anyway, one night, i'm studying in the kitchen (facing the living room) and my mom is on her computer in the den. buddy was all riled up for some reason and was running around the house like a crazy dog. all of a sudden, he runs into the den and i heard my mom yell at him. i looked up just in time to see buddy come sailing (and i mean sailing) out of the den over the bar. he had apparently run into the den, jumped up on the sofa and launched over the bar. the dog had lift, i tell you, he cleared the barstools on the other side of the bar and hit the ground running without missing a step before he did a few more laps. it was the funniest thing i ever saw a dog do, before or since.

Friday, April 04, 2008

pick-up lines not to try

so i'm waiting for the bus last week and overheard a great conversation. i love the freedom of earbuds. if you have them in, people assume you aren't listening or can't hear them, and just act like you aren't even there. if i overhear something interesting, i pretend to be adjusting the volume and then turn off my ipod so i can listen. i'm not often disappointed.

last friday's chance conversation was great. there was this very beautiful but very prim black muslim woman sitting at the bench waiting for the same bus i take. "perfect," i thought, "very low chance of crazy here, i'll sit next to her." i was right. she was not crazy. but she was a crazy magnet. right after i sat down i see this guy walk up and make a beeline for her and start to chat her up. from the get-go i could tell homeboy's elevator did not, shall we say, go to the top floor. he tries a few lines on her and then tries to talk a little islam with her. it seems he's been to a mosque once in his life, so he obviously feels he knows everything about the muslim faith. by the way she was shutting him down, he apparently did not. undaunted, he moves on. she had some papers in her hand which she was obviously trying to read; whether because she actually was interested in them or was just trying to give this doofus a hint mattered very little as he just kept talking. "whatcha reading? is that a job application? are they hiring at the mall?" "no," she replied politely, "it's about some insurance for my new job." "oh," he says, and then, apropos of nothing and without skipping a beat, he says, "i'm trying to get a gun." she didn't say a word but he just kept going. "yeah, i keep trying to apply but they won't let me have one. they said it's about all my prior misdemeanors. they say i'm supposed to file some kind of papers to get them cleared up or something but it just seems like so much trouble. i mean i know lots of places i could get a gun." she kept on kind of nodding and mmm-hmmm'ing at him very politely until he finally gave up, gave her a butchered salaam alaikum and wandered off. when he was safely in the distance, i just turned my head and looked at her and our eyes met and we just both shook our heads and went back to what we were doing.