Friday, September 30, 2005

Things I hate...

I hate it when you are standing at a light waiting to cross the street and you have already pushed the button for the "walk" signal and then someone comes up and then presses the button. Why? Do they assume you are stupid and did not press the button?

I REALLY hate it when someone SEES you press the button and then goes and presses it AGAIN right after you. Why???? If smacking a person in the head when they do that is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

is that the sound of chickens coming home?

Oh, happy day! Tom DeLay has been indicted. In case you are wondering why you really need to hate Tom DeLay (aka The Devil's Left Nut), consider this quote from the above-linked MSNBC article:

"TRMPAC’s money and expertise helped Republicans win control of the Texas legislature for the first time since the post-Civil War Reconstruction era.

At DeLay’s urging, the legislature then conducted a controversial remapping of congressional districts that resulted in more Republicans from Texas being elected to the U.S. House of Representatives."

Can you imagine DeLay on the witness stand: "Illegally funneling political contributions to solidify a Republican majority in Congress? Was that wrong?"

i can't believe it's not jesus

oh for fuck's sake. pat robertson has a diet shake. wtf? wtff?

and here's the buried lead, more than halfway through the article:

"In large type on the front of the can, the product is labeled 'Pat’s Diet Shake.' In smaller type on the back, it is identified as 'Dr. Pat Robertson’s Diet Shake.'

Robertson is not a medical doctor, but he does have a law degree , known formally as a juris doctor, from Yale Law School."

i guess its not misrepresentation if you're doing it for jesus.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

memo intended for turdblossom

an article posted at shows a copy of a memo allegedly accidentally faxed from congressperson lamar smith's office to a democratic congressperson's office, originally intended for karl rove. i am not sure this is authentic. the site says it is. do people really send faxes anymore? does karl rove run the entire presidency now?

one of mr. smith's more interesting statements from the memo:

"Enforcement of immigration laws, current and new, should come first to satisfy the increasing public demand for border security. It will not be enough to pass enforcement bills this fall that will take a year or two to produce results. Current laws need to be better enforced so the American people see results immediately. (Liberals can easily and accurately be painted as opposing enforcement). Only then as enforcement begins to gain traction, should the twin subjects of guestworkers and long-time illegal residents be addressed." [Emphasis added.]

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Axis of evil

Just saw a T-shirt that represents everything that I hate in this world.

It said:

Bush - Leinart '04

fuck that

Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Victory is ours!

Oklahoma 24

Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.

Friday, September 16, 2005

People 'dat ain't from 'dere just don't understand!

You might be from New Orleans if...
You're out of town and you stop and ask someone where there's a drive-thru daiquiri place, and they look at you like you have three heads. You drive your car up onto the neutral ground if it rains steadily and heavily for more than two hours. You call the 'Median' the 'Neutral Ground.' You have flood insurance. The four seasons of your year - crawfish, shrimp, crab and oyster. You greet people with , "Howzhyamomma'an'em?" and hear back, "Deyfine, darlin!" Someone asks for an address by compass directions and you say it's Uptown, downtown, backatown, riverside or lakeside. Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under. You know the Irish Channel is not Gaelic-language programming on cable. You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it. You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than your house. You have no idea what a turn signal is or how to properly use it. You can cross two lanes of heavy traffic and U-turn though a neutral ground while avoiding two joggers and a streetcar, then fit into the oncoming traffic flow while never touching the brake. You can consistently be the second or third person to run a red stop light. You've been rear-ended 10 times by people with no insurance. You get off the stoop, walk down the banquette and cross the neutral ground to go get a sno-ball. You know better than to drink hurricanes or eat Lucky Dogs. You consider a Bloody Mary a light breakfast. The major topics of conversation when you go out to eat are restaurant meals that you have had in the past and restaurant meals that you plan to have in the future. You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used. The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy dressed is healthier than a Caesar salad. You know the definition of "dressed." You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with a Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop. You have gained 10 or 15 pounds permanently, but you don't care anymore. You think "drinking water" when you look at the Mississippi River. The smell of a crawfish boil turns you on more than Chanel #5. You enjoy sucking heads more than sucking face. You burl crawfish or fry them in erl, and pack the uneaten tails in furl. Then you wrench your hands in the zinc with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off 'em. There is a St. Joseph lucky bean in you mama's coin purse. When you speak with a tourist, he asks, "Are you from Brooklyn?" You're not afraid when someone wants to "ax" you. You were born at Baptist, raised in Metry and hang with Vic and Nat'ly. You go by ya mom-ne-ems on Good Friday for family supper. You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday. You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws. You leave a parade with footprints on your hands. You believe that purple, green and gold look good together-you will even eat things those colors. Every time you hear sirens you think it's a Mardi Gras parade. You go buy a new winter coat and throw your arms up in the air to make sure it allows enough room to catch Mardi Gras beads. You have a parade ladder in your shed. Your finest china has Endymion written on it. Your first sentence was, "Throw me something mistah," and your first drink was from a go-cup. You wonder what Anne Rice has against a building that looks like a Mardi Gras float. You have a special set of grungy, well-broken-in shoes you refer to as your "French Quarter" shoes. Every so often, you have waterfront property. Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled. You believe Al and Anne are the Uptown version of Vic and Nat'ly. You know what a nutria is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team. You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs. You watch a movie filmed in New Orleans and say things like, "Dere ain't no way they can run out of a cemetery right on to Bourbon Street." Speaking of which, you haven't been to Bourbon Street in years. You have to buy a new house because you ran out of wall space for Jazz Fest posters. You drink Dixie, whistle Dixie and name your dog Dixie. You describe a color as K&B purple. You like your rice and politics dirty. You worry about deceased family members returning in spring floods. You reply to anything and everything about life here with, "Only in New Orleans." You have a monogrammed go-cup. A friend gets in trouble for roaches in his car and you wonder if it was palmettos or those little ones that go after the French fries that fell under the seat. You move somewhere else - and you feel like you are FROM Oz and you moved to Kansas.

[alas, i cannot take credit for this lovely work, it was forwarded to me about a zillion years ago.]

Friday, September 09, 2005

habeas what?

i wear black today in honor of the death of habeus corpus. apparently the "great writ" is now the "not-so-great writ."

Sunday, September 04, 2005

a good read

the blogosphere has indeed produced voluminous amounts of rambling shite (e.g., this blog), but there are some truly talented folks out there (e.g., matthew frederick davis hemming, aka cheeseburger brown). mfdh ( first caught my attention with "the darth side: memoirs of a monster," ( a fictionalized, serialized first person account of darth vader's most personal thoughts and feelings. not a big devotee of fan fiction, i found "darth side" to be hilarious, insightful and downright cheeky. i was sad to see it end. imagine my surprise, however, when i went to the site to re-read some old passages (sick in bed, bored) and found that mfdh has a new project: simon of space (, a serialized sci-fi novel "detailing the adventures of hyperspatial-amnesiac and gentleman-about-the-galaxy N. Simonithrat Fell." i am finding it addictive, as i am sure you will, too. an interesting facet is the comments section, where people are posting editing type comments, which, i feel, really rounds out the "online publishing" metaphor. also, people ask (generally) intelligent questions about the process of writing, etc., which mfdh responds to, making the story that much more interesting.

Friday, September 02, 2005

do you know what it means to miss new orleans

tipitina’s - café du monde - beignets & café au lait - f&m patio bar - lafitte’s blacksmith shop - abita beer - crystal hot sauce -mardi gras - dr. john - warehouse district - george porter, jr. - the radiators - kermit ruffins & bbq swingers - voodoo - rebirth brass band - the mardi gras indians - marcia ball - magazine street - semolina's - drive-thru daiquiris - michalopolous - commander’s palace - emeril’s - french quarter - french market - crawfish etouffe - red beans & rice - pat o'brien's hurricanes - po-boys - uptown - tulane - city park - audubon park - jazzfest - the howlin’ wolf - blue dog - the maple leaf - crawfish boils - harry connick, jr - garden district - tchoupitoulas - wedding cake house - muffuletta - central grocery - pralines - plum street snowballs -

add the things you miss about new orleans to the comments.

give a little to help rebuild the crescent city at

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Patti Labelle

Sitting next to Patti Labelle at gyu kaku restaurant in westwood. Oh, and John, too!
Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.

the way it is

i am livid knowing that congress can't be bothered to come back from vacation until later this week to vote on measures to help the victims of hurricane katrina when they sure enough all got back fast enough to vote on a measure to keep terry schiavo in misery. they will move heaven and earth to help one vegetable white woman in florida, but obviously don't give a shit about thousands of poor african-americans left behind by society and struggling for their lives in new orleans. for shame, congress. for shame.

if the federal government won't help new orleans, please let's help them ourselves. please give what you can to private relieve agencies helping out in the area. a good site to research all the different organizations and donate is the network for common good.