what is this world coming to?

ok, so i'm at the movie theatre (to see syriana, by the way, and i'm still trying to figure that shit out) and the theatre has this pre-show "adver-tainment" that basically has all these ads that you aren't supposed to think are ads, interspaced with, you guessed it, more ads. annoying, but pretty easy to ignore. but at one point they have this really annoying ad for this ky 2-in-1 warming body massage and personal lubricant (it's a floor polish; no, it's a dessert topping). ok, there are so many things wrong with that, i don't know where to start. why do i have to see this uptight yuppie bitch talking about personal-f'ing-lubricant when i'm in a movie theatre!? but it's ok, this gets funny. the commercial cuts to a shot of the entire product line at the end and one of the products is called "paris twilight" and i wasn't exactly paying attention so i read it really fast and i thought it said "penis twilight" and i was all "no they didn't." then i realized that it said "paris" not "penis" and i totally lost it. i mean, totally lost it, laughing so hard i couldn't breathe or even sit up in my chair, tears running down my face, people looking at me, husband trying to pretend that he's not with me - that kind of laughing. so, thank you ky for that moment, but: one, please keep your ads out of the movie theatres (at least normal movie theatres); and two, you may want to rethink using the word "paris" in your advertisements. i'm still laughing.